


Holiday Picture

by Gemini_00



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Batfamily Feels, F/M, Gen, Holiday Bingo 2018, Not Vey focused on relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-23
Updated: 2018-12-23
Packaged: 2019-09-25 10:22:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17119556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gemini_00/pseuds/Gemini_00
Summary: Prompt: Holiday PicturesWhen the Kardashians cancel the photoshoot, the Wayne family steps in to fill the gap... The Kardashians would've been easier honestly





	1. Part One

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Arsenic](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arsenic/gifts).



> For Arsenic

“I never thought I’d find someone that could make Calvin Klein plaid holiday themed pajamas so sexy while simultaneously matching with his ten year old,” Selina Kyle flirted with Bruce Wayne as she held out warm coffee to the man.

“Well People Magazine wanted us on their December cover instead of the Kardashians this year,” Bruce grunted, it was going to be the Kardashians up until Bruce legally brought Jason back to life a month ago. The media was all over the Waynes, E and MTV both trying to offer them up their own TV series which Bruce constantly declined. Unfortunately, Alfred agreed to this one while Bruce slept off an Arkham Breakout.

“I look like an idiot,” The teenager pouted. Jason looked about as funny as Bruce did with his bad boy persona and large body stuck in bright plaid fleece jammies.

“Awe, I think you look adorable,” Babs smirked.

“Don’t you have class, Barbie?” Jason hissed.

“And miss this? Why, I would never. Besides, Dick and Cass invited Stephanie and I,” Barbra wheeled over, “Speaking of Dick, where is he?”

“There was a Damian situation,” Jason grinned. Bruce’s stomach dropped because they already dealt with a Damian situation at the house over the pajamas and then one over having to be near Tim… How on earth could there be another Damian situation?!

As if on cue, Dick was holding a thrashing and angry ten year old that was screaming in arabic. Dick looked exasperated as he stared at Bruce, “To be fair, no one mentioned that Santa Claus was going to be in the picture, nor did they mention that Damian should be on Santa’s lap.”

“Mr. Wayne,” the photographer, Blake Jennings came in, “Would you please explain to your son that-”

“Silence wench! There is no way I am going to sit on that phedophilic freak of nature’s lap!” Damian growled, “You are already humiliating this family enough!”

She smiled through her frustration, “Sweetie, we are professionals… We’d never put any of you in a bad situation. Besides, I’m sure Santa would love to meet the little boy on the nice list.”

Before Damian could scream, Bruce stepped in quite quickly, “Ms. Jennings, Damian’s mother wasn’t too big on holiday spirit in general and to be far, we’ve all compromised quite nicely with your terms. But we weren’t warned about any Santa Claus, frankly I could disagree with the concept in general considering part of my heritage is jewish but I’m not going to do that. I will still happily oblige to the picture as long as the message continues as ‘Happy Holidays for All’. What I will not do is force my youngest child on a strange man’s lap if he does not feel comfortable with that, even if that man is Santa Claus. Do I make myself perfectly clear?”

She looked as if she wanted to object but relented quickly, “Yes, Mr.Wayne. I suppose our company was insensitive to this issue. Sweetie, can we give you something to hold in the picture or allow one of your siblings to hold you?”

“I believe you are making many false assumptions about the man I am based on my size,” Damian glared at the woman, despite Dick’s steady hand on Damian’s shoulder

“Excuse us for a moment,” Bruce requested before anything worse could sputter out of the youngest’s mouth. Reluctantly, Jennings stomped off.

“Father, you can’t expect me to-”

“Damian, it’s a picture for our image- think of it as a cover-up. You’re the youngest in a very large family where people expect us to dot on you as they did when Dick was brought in at eight, Jason at eleven, and even Tim at thirteen. If you can do this for me without making a scene, I may possibly consider letting you keep Jerry the Turkey without anymore arguments.”

Damian’s eyes got large, “You mean, even letting me make a room in the manor his own personal pen.”

And God, if that didn’t hurt to think about, “That depends on how much you impress me.”

Tim and Stephanie come from makeup where the stylist needed extra help on Tim’s pasty skin to cover up the deep dark spots under his eyes. Damian quickly jolted from Dick’s side to the two teenagers before he threw his arms around Tim and smiled up at him in a manor that made him look even younger than his ten years.

“What the-”

“Come on, Drake. We are taking a picture together!” Damian grinned, the clever little actor he is.

“That Turkey might have his own manor,” Jason started with wide eyes.

“Uh Steph,” Tim called for as his girlfriend moved away. Tim’s hands remained lifted above his head and away from Damian.

“Look, I’m just saying babe. He’s hugging you willingly… There could very well be a bomb hidden on him somewhere,” Steph explained all very calmly. /p>

Cass walked up besides Bruce laying her head against his arm. Her hair had been done into two braids that reminded him of Dorothy from the wizard of Oz, “Who is Santa Claus?”


	2. Part Two

Bruce couldn’t help but stare at the extra photos from the shoot, his personal favorite being the one of them in mid shot, all of them going after one another’s throats with Bruce in the middle of glaring at something Stephanie was doing off camera, but you could see her in the image partially. Dick was attempting to cuddle his littlest brother who wanted to make a mad dash at Tim… or was it Jason? It definitely wasn’t Cassandra. Cassandra, god bless his daughter, was rolled up in some god awful wrapping paper with a bow on top of her head while Babs entered the shot somehow. Jason was flipping off Tim, who was stuck in the tree while a stern Alfred coming behind them. Even Selina Kyle made a cameo into the Batfamily photo by standing behind him with a mistletoe.

Of course, this wasn’t the shot that they used for the cover nor the one that Bruce would use to send to distant relatives or company Holiday card that would wish each individual person joy for their respective holiday they celebrate.

No, the one that Jennings chose was the one with Cassandra hugging Santa while Bruce had and arm around the jolly fellow. Tim and Damian were upfront with Damian halfway on the other youth’s lap while Jason sat down in front of them with his white tank top showing because he refused to button-up the plaid pajama top with a gift in hand. Dick, ever the acrobat is climbing up a ladder near a Christmas tree to place a star on top of it.

Yes, this will never be the perfect image within the Wayne household.

“Jerry likes his room,” Cassandra walked up behind him.

Bruce actually jumped a bit at that because only his daughter would be able to do that. She sat across from him with her overly sweet Hot Chocalate. She reads the multiple Holidays celebrated around this time of year before staring at him.

“Why two cards?”

“One for work and friends,” He smiled as he pointed to the simple happy family picture, “Then some for out family and friends like the Kanes and the Kents.”

“I like this photo better,” She grinned as she held up the one written for an address in Smallville, Kansas.

“Yeah, me too,” He smirked at her.


End file.
